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🎇 How to Hex Your Existential Dread (With Glitter)

Because the abyss looks better when it sparkles.

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Intro: The Cosmic Horror of Just Existing

Existence is exhausting. Every day, you’re expected to pay bills, answer emails, and process the crushing weight of infinity. The philosophers called it angst, the mystics called it the dark night of the soul, and Lovecraft just screamed into a tentacle.

But here’s the witchy twist: dread is not a curse, it’s a raw ingredient. And like any good kitchen witch, you can stir it with glitter until it becomes something fabulous ( or mica if you want a natural alternative to miroplastics.

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Step 1: Befriend the Abyss (Don’t Ghost It)

Existential dread is like that one friend who always shows up uninvited, eats all your chips, and then asks if you’ve thought about the heat death of the universe lately. You can’t ignore her………but you can hand her a rhinestone tiara, and follow her into the dark alley behind your favorite dive bar.

✨ Mystical note: In Jungian psychology, the shadow becomes destructive only when denied. By acknowledging dread, you start to work with it instead of against it.

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Step 2: Aestheticize Your Nihilism

Camus said we must imagine Sisyphus happy. We say: imagine him happy in sequins. Turn your doom into décor:

• Wear sparkly eyeliner to your next spiral.
• Bedazzle your journal where you write your 3am dread poetry.
• Treat your life like a cosmic drag show where entropy is the main act.

✨ Pop-cultural proof: Tumblr’s “sparkle witch” aesthetic already knew, existential horror is way more fun with glitter gifs.

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Step 3: Ritual – The Spell of Sparkle Witch ✨

This isn’t about banishing dread (you can’t). It’s about transforming it.

Ingredients

• Black glitter (the void)
• Gold glitter (your shine)
• Candle (color = your current mood)
• A small bowl of water (to hold it all together)

Method

1. Light the candle and say: “The void is here, and so am I.”
2. Sprinkle glitter into the water, watching it swirl like stars being born and destroyed.
3. Chant: “Chaos, shimmer with me.”
4. Blow out the candle. Leave the bowl overnight, then pour it out under a full moon.

Result: Your dread is not gone……..it’s been bedazzled.

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Step 4: Throw a Glitter Doom Party 🎉

If we’re all hurtling toward nothingness, might as well RSVP.

• Bake black velvet cupcakes with edible shimmer dust.
• Confetti that says “Memento Mori, but make it cute.”
• Playlist: Evanescence, Grimes, Billie Eilish, maybe one ironic ABBA track.
• Invite your dread. She’ll love the attention.

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Citations & Anchors 📚

• Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus (1942): finding joy in absurdity.
• Søren Kierkegaard, The Concept of Anxiety (1844): dread as possibility.
• H.P. Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu (1928): the abyss, unbedazzled, but you can fix that with a trip to the craft store.
• Carl Jung, Aion (1951): the shadow and integration.
• Pop Culture: Sparkle Witch aesthetic (Tumblr / TikTok), My Chemical Romance (emo meets cosmic angst).

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Outro: Glitter Is Resistance

Existential dread isn’t leaving your party. But with glitter, you stop being its victim and become its decorator. You reclaim the void with sequins, sass, and spellwork.

So hex your dread. Bedazzle your boulder. Sparkle Witch forever, and a danyessa maverick lightwork palette will fix you right up.